does this path have a heart?

good afternoon! as usual, i am pondering the question, "does this path have a heart"? i am reading an interesting book given to me by my lovely co-worker, called a path with heart, by jack kornfield. at first i was totally making fun of it--the "woo" in me is somewhat insecure--but i do believe we all possess love and good within each of us, so i'm sub-consciously trying to follow that buddhist mantra. also, for my life, i'm continually seeking out the "right" path. i think i have done a good job with my partner. i feel confident that we will find what we are looking for in each other, and this makes me smile. the problem i see is with my work sometimes...i start down the road, but immediately i see the obstacles and decide a different road might be more interesting. ive always done this--more and more i think it is a combination of wandering and the way i like to learn. i feel kind of done with sitting in school, listening to someone else tell me about their experience, i want to see for myself. i've had over 40 types of jobs and they all taught me something.

i think my current path does have a heart, but sometimes i feel like i lack direction. i like working at the food co-op, and i feel i have met many new friends, which in turn, has created many new opportunities for growth and adventure--this makes me happy. i see people doing amazing things and their hard work is inspiring. art, music, environmental work, bikes, farming, salvage, woodworking...everyone seems to balance their passions with their work and hobbies.

i remembered another great quote that always cheers me up..."being yourself is enough". i forgot when and where i heard this quote, it may have been from one of the books pema chodron has written...another great buddhist.

the point is, i'm being too hard on myself. i have a huge list of goals i am working towards that i don't give myself any credit for. it helps immensely to write these down, as they are not as concrete as, say, a house, car, stability, positive financial portfolio, etc. for the sake of others doubts about their goals and for affirmation, i have listed my goals for you...

• self-improvement to understand my emotional needs, communication and health (including eating better, continuing to be vegatarian)

• learning to accept and admire more folks (diverse) and look to find their kindness

• family, friend and love relationship building

• empathy

• openness--readiness to say yes

• honesty in my life ambitions, love and family

• save money for travel opportunities, vacation, expenses, helping others in need

• hike some major trails--a thru hike--pacific coast trail, oregon coast trail, american discovery trail
• own a house/land that is off the grid--solar elcetricity, composting, garden, rain water system of plumbing, composting toilet, earth/cellar storage--no refridgerator required
  
• work on improving gardening, drying and canning skills
• get my drum-set back and play more music!
• create an art/wood/music workshop for myself that is self-sustaining/off-the-grid

i'm sure there are many more that will come about as i live my life...next week, a list of some goals i have already acheived! awesome!

currently at 15 push-ups and 15 sit-ups a day...

books of the day...
a path with heart, jack kornfield
the places that scare you, pema chodron
walk the gobi, helen thayer (whoa! a 1600 mile walk across the gobi desert in mongolia!)

luv spence