goals in the bag

as promised, here are a few goals that i am proud of accomplishing in the past few years...not without the help of my supportive partner, dedicated friends and ever-growing and changing family! in no particular order...

• working less! i've acquired a job that has flexible hours, in the sense that i can choose to add more to my plate when i am feeling up to it, also, only working 28 hours a week still gets me my health insurance etc., and i can spend more time with my partner and friends
  
• meaningful work, meaningful people in my life
• finding artistic, alternative thinking resources, support, realities and conversation on these topics--this has happened more-so since starting my blog and working at the co-op, so thanks!
• no longer rely on credit cards for any means
• slowly paying past debt, continuing to learn about the modern debt system, saying no to consumer threats (advertising)
• quieting myself down, slowing down, sacrificing "good credit" for health and life balance
• built up my skills! better communicator, carpentry, salvaging, music, artistic, strong legs, bike skills, compassion, fixing things, learning, thrifty, resourceful, funny
• choosing to be my real self, despite what people may think...knowing my true self, loving and accepting that, so that others may get to know me and accept me

well, that's not too shabby! send me a line and maybe let me know some of the goals you have accomplished. there's probably a lot of things you have taken for granted which you have worked on and not acknowledged. i'm excited to add to this list in 2009 and beyond!

i almost forgot! book of the day...riding with strangers by elijah wald. this forty-something-year-old guy sticks his thumb out and takes a hike! a hitch-hike that is. seems he's been hitching for years and this is his third book. touches upon themes like "is hitch-hiking more dnagerous now?", "am i too old for this?" and "what does it all mean?" not exactly uber-scholastic, but a fun quick read. kind of gives me more hope about the kindness of strangers. i've been burning through books like crazy lately!

and remember to go to www.helenthayer.com. you won't be sorry!

luv spence

living in a garbage truck

my friend cory and i sitting in "jerry", my 88 ford.





check out these sweet pics i found today on the interweb...

http://www.loqu.com/living-in-a-garbage-truck/blogs/angelia-1290

i tried to find the actual blog but it didn't link to anything...i don't think this"angela" actually lives in the truck or this is the right page for the blog, but i couldn't find it for real! its worth just looking at the pics though. freakin' awesome, even if it is all ikea bullshit.

here's another blog that i was following for awhile...this guy actually lived in his truck for awhile and paid off some major debt...he kind of sounds like an extreme sports guy, but the blogs about the truck situation and the advice was interesting and helpful...

http://gotruckyourself.blogspot.com/

link to the article about his adventure and a good conversation about how CHOOSING to live in your truck in not homelessness!

http://www.queercents.com/2007/02/21/sleep-in-truck-student-pays-off-credit-card-debt/

also, here's a new cool blog i'm definetly following now!

http://truckhouse.blogspot.com/2007/12/im-living-in-truck-now.html

peace!

luv spence

does this path have a heart?

good afternoon! as usual, i am pondering the question, "does this path have a heart"? i am reading an interesting book given to me by my lovely co-worker, called a path with heart, by jack kornfield. at first i was totally making fun of it--the "woo" in me is somewhat insecure--but i do believe we all possess love and good within each of us, so i'm sub-consciously trying to follow that buddhist mantra. also, for my life, i'm continually seeking out the "right" path. i think i have done a good job with my partner. i feel confident that we will find what we are looking for in each other, and this makes me smile. the problem i see is with my work sometimes...i start down the road, but immediately i see the obstacles and decide a different road might be more interesting. ive always done this--more and more i think it is a combination of wandering and the way i like to learn. i feel kind of done with sitting in school, listening to someone else tell me about their experience, i want to see for myself. i've had over 40 types of jobs and they all taught me something.

i think my current path does have a heart, but sometimes i feel like i lack direction. i like working at the food co-op, and i feel i have met many new friends, which in turn, has created many new opportunities for growth and adventure--this makes me happy. i see people doing amazing things and their hard work is inspiring. art, music, environmental work, bikes, farming, salvage, woodworking...everyone seems to balance their passions with their work and hobbies.

i remembered another great quote that always cheers me up..."being yourself is enough". i forgot when and where i heard this quote, it may have been from one of the books pema chodron has written...another great buddhist.

the point is, i'm being too hard on myself. i have a huge list of goals i am working towards that i don't give myself any credit for. it helps immensely to write these down, as they are not as concrete as, say, a house, car, stability, positive financial portfolio, etc. for the sake of others doubts about their goals and for affirmation, i have listed my goals for you...

• self-improvement to understand my emotional needs, communication and health (including eating better, continuing to be vegatarian)

• learning to accept and admire more folks (diverse) and look to find their kindness

• family, friend and love relationship building

• empathy

• openness--readiness to say yes

• honesty in my life ambitions, love and family

• save money for travel opportunities, vacation, expenses, helping others in need

• hike some major trails--a thru hike--pacific coast trail, oregon coast trail, american discovery trail
• own a house/land that is off the grid--solar elcetricity, composting, garden, rain water system of plumbing, composting toilet, earth/cellar storage--no refridgerator required
  
• work on improving gardening, drying and canning skills
• get my drum-set back and play more music!
• create an art/wood/music workshop for myself that is self-sustaining/off-the-grid

i'm sure there are many more that will come about as i live my life...next week, a list of some goals i have already acheived! awesome!

currently at 15 push-ups and 15 sit-ups a day...

books of the day...
a path with heart, jack kornfield
the places that scare you, pema chodron
walk the gobi, helen thayer (whoa! a 1600 mile walk across the gobi desert in mongolia!)

luv spence

digital television and paying for the internet

sometimes i wish i could swear off television, phone and computer technologies altogether. in a sense, they have owned me because i have worked hard to pay the bills they create. my family lives 2,000 miles away and a cell phone is great for our long-distance conversations. the internet is great because i can connect and learn with millions of people very quickly. i don't watch much television, but i love movies and sports. if all of these things were taken away simultaneously, i probably wouldn't care as much as i think i would. it would be quieter in my little world. however, i can get some of the things for free and this has set up the dilemma...how much technology do we pay for? monetarily or otherwise...

fresh out of college i embarked on a career in graphic design. i was a whiz at the computer; mastering such programs as photoshop, illustrator, front page, flash and in-design. i was rewarded handsomely. i had a great apartment, nice car and ultimately, a pile of freakin' bills! i shelled out money for my home computer, so i could work on freelance projects, a home phone line and a cell phone, cable and internet. i went to my main job 5 days a week--be on the computer all day--then come home and get on the computer at night too. in between those times i talked on the phone, drove my car, ate fast food and watched television. just kidding--i'm being a little hard on myself--that wasn't all i did, but it sure felt like it sometimes. i then realized i wanted to do all those things less and less. i realized i hated it. so i started going to work less and less; consequently i drove less, was on the computer less and then--surprise! i had less money. i decided that it wasn't worth it. i wasn't even following what i had actually wanted to do--incorporate my art skills creating innovative designs for a sweet graphics company--i was working primarily for ford cars and trucks, editing safety posters. but in michigan, people work for car companies i guess, but i really felt disconnected. technically speaking, i was the most connected, but where was my love of the outdoors i had grown up with, where was my food coming from, how come i never rode my bike anymore but took naps all the time and felt exhausted? everyone was proud that i had such a good job right out of college. i was proud too, but only because i was supposed to be. i didn't feel happy. eventually, i gave it all up, moved in with my girlfriend and started working at the food co-op in ann arbor, michigan. things were just starting to pick up there with organics and the local farmers market movement. these things felt good and exciting. i couldn't afford any of the technologies i had before, but it was a window to a different way of being in the world. i was using skills i loved, being creative, crafty, handy, thrifty and learning more about my impact on my environment and the earth. i guess that's what made me want to work at people's in portland. lots of folks having the kinds of conversations i was into.

long story short. now i go back and forth from wanting the internet in my home and loathing it. like its a gateway to some office world i escaped from! its time suckage people! so silly of me to start a blog of all things, huh? well, i made a commitment to myself to start writing again everyday so here i am. problem is, now we don't get wireless internet in our apartment. we get it a block away thanks to the business down the street...paying for internet when i can go one block just doesn' t seem right. but i can't very well blog in my underwear in the middle of the street.

what to do about tv? we have an old one, so now we're supposed to go out and buy some digital converter box or rent one. this is ridiculous. i'm not doing that. paying for something i only watch when the blazer's play, or superbowl sunday? (i know, judge me, i watch sports...i love sports. i've admitted i have a problem.) forget that too. back to movies only--back and forth, forever and ever.

thinking more and more about just unplugging altogether. it'd probably do me some good to let it go. maybe i can cheat a little and blog on a computer at work. ha-ha. i just have to get a little quicker at editing and maybe put some pants on. or maybe i'll be seeing you all at the sandy hut bar, where they have wireless, sports on tv and pbr...the other habit i have yet to kick. ugh.

just watched harold and maude. still a good movie to strengthen the fact that youthful energy can be held onto until you're 80.

also this week i'm reading wandering home by bill mckibben. as he walks country roads from one town to the next in view of the adirondack mountains, he writes in a somewhat drawn-out-back-to-the-good-old-days tone. great commentary on the ways small town life in vermont and new york has changed. old farmers' wisdom colliding with rich new comers looking to romanticize farming life, making mistakes and ultimatley loving their choices after 30 years of struggle against the progress of history. local is the new organic.

luv spence

legitimizing alternative life goals

welcome to thermal jerk. i'm so excited to get going on this project. i've been thinking about alternative housing, goal-setting and societal standards for a long time. to clarify what this blog is going to entail in a nut-shell...i'm deeply committed to positivity, living simply and legitimizing alternative life goals. this statement can encompass a number of things. first and foremost, living a modest lifestyle. i work at people's food cooperative grocery, located in portland, or. i am committed to local food sourcing, "zero" waste, recycling, vegetarianism and non-consumerism. i love to challenge everyday ideas about "success", what is considered "normal" and "milestones" in our society. maybe you don't have that 4-bedroom house on the hill, a straight life and a hot career...but maybe you DO have a yurt in the backyard of a friend that you built, a partner, a dog, a solar-powered ipod or a great blog. what are you proud of?

there is an alternative to the typical, socialized paths laid out for people. these "regular", "normal", "straight and narrow" pathways have been laid out with good intentions since the great depression and lifestyle booms of the 30s, 40s and 50s, however, they are no longer relevant for today's world! high school, college, money, career advancement, marriage, house, kids, soccer practice, mini-vans...these things are great! but are not the only goals to strive for. what about emotional growth? what about personal work to learn about your family system? what about taking time to learn more about other systems--class, race, gender, sexism, homophobia? where is your validation for your measure of success? what life have you created for yourself that you are proud of? is this life reflected in the mainstream? is there validation for you and your choices, which have lead you to this point? what are your privileges and what have you struggled for? what are you working towards that people seem to look upon with trepidation?

these questions and answers matter more than you know. everyone feels judgment and ultimately in response to that, hands it out! only when you validate yourself, committ to living your life on your own terms with regard for the environment and your neighbors, can you feel open and positive--work towards things you feel are important! not some status quo! so what if you're without a "stable" career? so what if you didn't go to college? so what if you don't own your own company or make 6 figures? and what if you do but it does not fulfill you? what about the fence you built in a weekend for your friend, made of reclaimed materials? what about the drying and canning you have done because you refuse to use a refrigerator? what about the skills you have in mediation? what about your travel to other counties and what that has taught you? what about publishing zines, coming out to your co-workers or playing in a band?

i am starting this blog for self-reflection and authentication, but also for others to find support. i have not seen the goals in my life reflected in the media. i have not seen my hard work praised in our societal systems. i have sought out others like me and have only found sparse, fringe associations. i'm writing about goals that include self-improvement, emotional enrichment, relationship building, minority-group involvement and environmental responsibility.

hopefully, my readers will call me out if ever i am trashing others' life choices--for on occasion, this might happen. i mean only to encourage others to pursue their interests with passion. here's a link to get you started...

link of the day/book of the day
http://www.shelterpub.com/_home_work/HW-book.html

luv spence